Creating Grief

Sometimes the hardest grief to overcome is the grief that we create in our own lives. The revisiting of past relationships that caused us pain. The insanity of doing the same thing and expecting different results. The losses we create ourselves — in love, in a career. The inaction that leads to inertia. The pulling back when we feel overwhelmed and the missing out that results.

How can we escape this never-ending repeating pattern of behavior? How can we implement moments of change and stop past actions from informing future actions?

What is our story arc? We ride along happily (or unhappily) in our own lives thinking we know what problems are, then someone dies and we realize those former problems really weren’t problems?

And what does that mean for us moving forward with the decisions we make in life? Does it mean those other problems no longer bother us? That an insensitive comment or a failed job interview don’t matter as much as they did in the past because it’s all been put in perspective? Or does it mean we are more vulnerable to hurts and disappointments and need to protect ourselves more viciously?

These answers, I do not yet have.

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One Response to Creating Grief

  1. I wonderful articulation of what I am currently experiencing.

    A song lyric comes to mind – “I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart” – and it’s true. For me, at least. I’ve been doing it my whole life.

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